...Are a myth.
Well, okay, I`m not sure about that.
According to Wikipedia sympathetic pregnancy and sympathy pains are two different things. Sympathetic pregnancy is properly known as Couvade Syndrome.
Whenever I heard about this I just laughed. Because it was funny.
It`s not funny anymore.
My wife is currently 7 1/2 months preggers. Her ENTIRE pregnancy she has had brutal back pain. Even from the very beginning when she wasn't getting any bigger yet.
So, naturally, throughout these past 8 months I've felt bad for her and wondered how hard it must be for her and what it would be like if I were her.
Turns out that's a bad idea. Well, good for our relationship, bad for my body.
Two days ago I woke up with the sorest back I have had in my entire life. I haven't done anything strenuous lately, haven't lifted any weights, haven't tried to do 13 1/2 pull ups or anything crazy like that. And I'm only 25, little young to have chronic back pain.
I couldn't understand for the life of me why my back hurt so much.
End of the day, wasn't so bad. Went to bed, fell asleep, no problems.
At 1:50 am my wife whacks me, says "Sweetheart, my back hurts! I can't move! Please come rub my back." So I turn over (I'm not in any pain and I was sleeping like a baby) and start rubbing her back.
After a minute, I start to feel a little sore, in my lower back. Then really sore. By the time she asks me to help her stand up because she needs to use the bathroom I can barely make myself stand up. Forget the back pain I had the day before, this is ridiculous!
Now, I'm not stupid. I know when to keep my mouth shut about my own pain. And that's for the entire 9-months my wife is pregnant and every day of my life after she gives birth for the first time. So I say nothing.
By the time I help her get back in bed, I'm reeling.
So. Now, the difference between sympathetic pregnancy and sympathy pains. Sympathetic pregnancy is what I (think I) experienced. The dad feels symptoms of his spouse's pregnancy.
Sympathy pains are quite different. These occur while the woman is in labour...
So needless to say, I'm terrified. And while I will let my wife squeeze the life and blood out of my hand, I am not going to wonder what her pain is like.
Sorry Sweetheart.
Monday, June 24, 2013
Wednesday, June 19, 2013
It's Dad's Turn
It's Dad's Turn to write a blog about KIDS!!
I definitely love blogs that have funny stories about your kids, with cute pictures. Those are great.
Well, I think Dad needs a run at doing the same thing. Cute stories, definitely.
Also, Why it doesn't suck to be a dad!
I have one-and-a-half children (the perfect North American average). My one entire child is a girl. She is ~16 months old. Her middle name is Zelda so that's what I'll call her (my wife is paranoid about identity stuff!). My fraction of a child is in the oven as we speak. S/he is due this summer (No, I don't know if it's a boy or a girl. Yes, I want it to be a boy).
To start off: My hopes and dreams of instilling my beliefs in my children can all be summarized by this video on youtube
Now I know that there's some editing going on, and some people think somebody was off-screen telling her what to say But I Don't Care! First of all: I think this is legit.
Second of all...
----->
This is my daughter, five weeks old, watching Episode I. (You're right, she's probably not "watching it". But at least I tried.)
So why does it not suck to be a dad?!
Perspective. And Love. Lots and tons and mounds of Love.
But perspective helps.
Here are a few reason why it might suck to be a dad:
waking up in the middle of the night
changing diapers
waking up early
sitting at the table feeding the kids for twenty-forty minutes at a time
walking/rocking them to sleep for forty-five minutes at 2 am
sitting in a walk-in waiting room every time they get sick
spending more money
waking up in the middle of the night... every night
Now hold on. If you're not a dad yet, especially if your significant other is currently preggers, please do not stop reading here.
I don't want to ruin the sleep you're currently getting (cause it's the last good sleep you'll ever have).
Okay, that's not necessarily true! I sleep really well! My wife and I tried scheduling and it worked for us, and our little feeder sleeps great!
Perspective helps change a couple of these things (not all of them).
changing diapers: is really a beautiful thing if you stop to think that you're doing something for your little one that they can't do for themselves! They're dirty and helpless and need to be cleaned!
feeding babies: again, they need you to do this for them! Also, be patient. Once they get past a year old they start learning stuff, and boring things, like feeding, become very entertaining. Watching a one-year-old learn to use a spoon like an inebriated man, hurts the ribs.
rocking to sleep at 2 am: Nope, sorry. Perspective can't help you there. I've got tips for this, but you don't want unsolicited advice. Maybe a future post...
spending more money: Now, the other day the perspective on this one hit me pretty hard. Let me give a little family background before I lay this one out.
I'm going to school right now, studying Physics. I want to be a high school teacher and my wife wants to stay at home (Score!). We want to have four to five kids. Yes, you're right. We're nuts.
So the other day I was driving in a minivan thinking about that time when my kids will be in school and how they may need financial help. Then the thought occurred to me: 'Maybe it would be better to have less kids so that I can better provide for the ones I do have.' WRONG! (At least, to me. You can do whatever you want). I would much rather a) have more kids and less money and b) give my kids a baby sister than money for school.
Perspective.
Now, just to tie things up, I want to tell you about the love part.
First: a confession. I found being a father very tedious. There isn't really one single thing that you have to do for your kid that's hard. Changing diapers, preparing food, feeding, rocking to sleep. Individually are all easy, but when combined and spread out over days and weeks and months become really difficult. Also, I found sitting and playing with a 9-month-old baby really boring. She's cute, and I do love my daughter, but it was still boring. I loved her very much, and cared about her more than I thought I could. But I found her boring, and she took up a lot of my time.
I thought I was doing something wrong. And I still don't know if that's true. Probably. But let me tell you about the best thing that ever happened to me.
She got old enough to babble, and walk and run around, kick a ball, sometimes even catch a ball, and most of all she learned to say "daddy" and she learned to miss me. When I come home from school she runs to the front door saying my name. When I scoop her up in my arms she hugs me and then pats me repeatedly on the shoulder (that's her way of showing how excited she is to see you). When i put her down to bed I just feel so happy and blessed to be given this amazing little girl to take care of. Now I love sitting on the floor playing with her, watching her play, sitting on the couch with her watching some dumb kids show that keeps her interest, feeding her. I learned to love her so much.
And now I can throw all that perspective out the window. I don't need it.
It's all worth it. And it's not tedious.
I don't even mind changing her gross diaper. Not one bit.
I definitely love blogs that have funny stories about your kids, with cute pictures. Those are great.
Well, I think Dad needs a run at doing the same thing. Cute stories, definitely.
Also, Why it doesn't suck to be a dad!
I have one-and-a-half children (the perfect North American average). My one entire child is a girl. She is ~16 months old. Her middle name is Zelda so that's what I'll call her (my wife is paranoid about identity stuff!). My fraction of a child is in the oven as we speak. S/he is due this summer (No, I don't know if it's a boy or a girl. Yes, I want it to be a boy).
To start off: My hopes and dreams of instilling my beliefs in my children can all be summarized by this video on youtube
Now I know that there's some editing going on, and some people think somebody was off-screen telling her what to say But I Don't Care! First of all: I think this is legit.
Second of all...
----->
This is my daughter, five weeks old, watching Episode I. (You're right, she's probably not "watching it". But at least I tried.)
So why does it not suck to be a dad?!
Perspective. And Love. Lots and tons and mounds of Love.
But perspective helps.
Here are a few reason why it might suck to be a dad:
waking up in the middle of the night
changing diapers
waking up early
sitting at the table feeding the kids for twenty-forty minutes at a time
walking/rocking them to sleep for forty-five minutes at 2 am
sitting in a walk-in waiting room every time they get sick
spending more money
waking up in the middle of the night... every night
Now hold on. If you're not a dad yet, especially if your significant other is currently preggers, please do not stop reading here.
I don't want to ruin the sleep you're currently getting (cause it's the last good sleep you'll ever have).
Okay, that's not necessarily true! I sleep really well! My wife and I tried scheduling and it worked for us, and our little feeder sleeps great!
Perspective helps change a couple of these things (not all of them).
changing diapers: is really a beautiful thing if you stop to think that you're doing something for your little one that they can't do for themselves! They're dirty and helpless and need to be cleaned!
feeding babies: again, they need you to do this for them! Also, be patient. Once they get past a year old they start learning stuff, and boring things, like feeding, become very entertaining. Watching a one-year-old learn to use a spoon like an inebriated man, hurts the ribs.
rocking to sleep at 2 am: Nope, sorry. Perspective can't help you there. I've got tips for this, but you don't want unsolicited advice. Maybe a future post...
spending more money: Now, the other day the perspective on this one hit me pretty hard. Let me give a little family background before I lay this one out.
I'm going to school right now, studying Physics. I want to be a high school teacher and my wife wants to stay at home (Score!). We want to have four to five kids. Yes, you're right. We're nuts.
So the other day I was driving in a minivan thinking about that time when my kids will be in school and how they may need financial help. Then the thought occurred to me: 'Maybe it would be better to have less kids so that I can better provide for the ones I do have.' WRONG! (At least, to me. You can do whatever you want). I would much rather a) have more kids and less money and b) give my kids a baby sister than money for school.
Perspective.
Now, just to tie things up, I want to tell you about the love part.
First: a confession. I found being a father very tedious. There isn't really one single thing that you have to do for your kid that's hard. Changing diapers, preparing food, feeding, rocking to sleep. Individually are all easy, but when combined and spread out over days and weeks and months become really difficult. Also, I found sitting and playing with a 9-month-old baby really boring. She's cute, and I do love my daughter, but it was still boring. I loved her very much, and cared about her more than I thought I could. But I found her boring, and she took up a lot of my time.
I thought I was doing something wrong. And I still don't know if that's true. Probably. But let me tell you about the best thing that ever happened to me.
She got old enough to babble, and walk and run around, kick a ball, sometimes even catch a ball, and most of all she learned to say "daddy" and she learned to miss me. When I come home from school she runs to the front door saying my name. When I scoop her up in my arms she hugs me and then pats me repeatedly on the shoulder (that's her way of showing how excited she is to see you). When i put her down to bed I just feel so happy and blessed to be given this amazing little girl to take care of. Now I love sitting on the floor playing with her, watching her play, sitting on the couch with her watching some dumb kids show that keeps her interest, feeding her. I learned to love her so much.
And now I can throw all that perspective out the window. I don't need it.
It's all worth it. And it's not tedious.
I don't even mind changing her gross diaper. Not one bit.
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